Boundaries That Don't Bind

When I was a little kid I loved to ride my bike around the neighborhood. I grew up in a neighborhood with lots of other kids, street lights, ice cream trucks, lemonade stands, and rows and rows of houses. It was awesome as a child. I remember in the evenings or during the day when I would want to ride my bike but didn’t have anyone to go out in the streets with me my mom and dad would give me “boundaries” This was their word of choice for the landmarks that marked where I could and couldn’t go on my bike. It never bothered me, I never really wanted to break free from my “boundaries” I was just happy to be riding my bike. I would go from the stop sign to the light pole, round and round and round. I was free to do the exact thing I wanted but under my parents protection. They knew where I was even though they weren’t right there with me and at anytime they needed they could step out the front door and check the “boundaries” for my where abouts.

Kids need boundaries, they need protection, and they need security. They are not built to wander on their own where the unimaginable and unpredictable could pop up in their path. It makes great sense and I will most likely use likewise structures in my own home as my kids grow up. But lately, I have been thinking about boundaries as an adult. Boundaries as an adult don’t always seem as freeing do they? Boundaries now make us feel restricted and when we feel restricted, we feel BOUND.

There are certain triggers and situations that seem to bring on some old habits for me. I have written in the past about becoming lost in my mind, robotic, anxious, and simply not present to the world around me because I am so locked up in thinking thoughts that are spinning me in circles about things that don’t really matter, like schedules and routines. I have recognized how unGodly these times are. I am called to live in freedom, I am called to live life abundantly, I have the power to take every thought captive, and I am a blessing to the people around me and my presence to them does matter. Because of this thorn in my flesh I have found ways in my life to put boundaries around those situations that can trigger these moments in my life, ultimately to protect me from falling into these darker places. But as I implemented boundaries I found myself in a wave of battles, some days feeling so free from the distractions in my minds and other days feeling so bound by the fact I have to give myself boundaries to accomplish freedom.

I realized, that these waves of battles were being cycled in my life, because I felt as if my maturity entitled me to a life without boundaries. In my mind, I should just be able to be free from these struggles without help, but everytime I would step outside of them it was only a matter of time because I would slip right back into my danger zone. But then I took a look at the nature of the Lord and the way he has designed himself in relationship with us as a Father. I saw that when it comes to living a life that is glorifying to the Lord, we must stay under our daddy’s protection. No matter how old, mature, or secure I become here on earth when I accepted Christ as my savior I was adopted into God’s Kingdom. I became a child of God. This is a GOOD thing. But just like the little girl riding her back within the safety zone of her parents the Lord will give us boundaries to live a life untormented for the dangers of evil and sin.  We are not left alone here on earth to struggle through, we are here under the wings of the King of all Kings. We have taken His name and gained sonship into his family. What a great place to be!

In Psalm 121:7 the bible says, “The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life.” I want this. I want to be protected by the Lord. I want him to watch over me. And I also want freedom, especially from sinful patterns and mind battles. But let’s look back to my childhood. Just like riding my bike in the street with no supervision, how could my parent’s keep me safe without boundaries? If they didn’t say you can ride your bike but only from the stop sign to the light pole, how could they keep a watch over me and protect me from harm? They gave me freedom to have the desires of my heart but they kept their role as parents to protect me. God does the same for us in adulthood. He gives us the freedom here on earth but to stay under His watch and protection but sometimes it requires boundaries. I have my thorn in the flesh, but what is yours? Is it taking drinking too much when you are out with friends? Is it anger? Is it physical boundaries with your significant others? What are the roads in your life that take you to a place of sin?

The fact is you get to go down these roads if you so wish, and God is big enough to still be by your side in the darkness. But if your desire for a life without giving into bad habits and ungodly patterns then you may have to set some boundaries. Because ultimately, a life without these patterns and battles that you face, THAT IS FREEDOM! And if it takes boundaries to achieve that, then great!

We have to lay down our pride and see ourselves as children of God. Allow your heavenly Father to set boundaries for you to keep you out of sin. We all have something. Yes, that’s right, none of us are perfect. And the Lord is not surprised by “our something” that keeps rearing its ugly head in our lives but he does offer guidance on how to keep us free from it. Sometimes we are blessed enough for full deliverance and sometimes it takes boundaries to keep us in deliverance. And the lie is that if you do need boundaries that you are weak. This was my struggle. I don’t want to have boundaries. I want to be able to be safe without them. But that is not the case, I have weak points, but I love my life 100% times better when I am not dealing with the shame of the moments that I gave into temptation or allowed my mind to be captivated by anxiety. Just like I didn’t mind the boundaries on my bike because it gave me the chance to do what I desired, I will stop fighting against the boundaries in my adult life that keep God’s freedom flowing through me. Where I am weak, He is strong, and this is exactly how it is designed to be.

Embrace your boundaries today! Let go of pride. And know giving up the bars, the late nights, the gossiping environments, or whatever it may be that you need to keep you safe from sin, will in return give you the exact life you are desiring. A life under the wing of the Almighty King!

When The World Is Dark...Shine!

Recently the news of our nation has been sickening and heart wrenching. Shootings and terrorist attacks, so full of hate, have burdened the souls of our world. The darkness seems more permeating than ever and it can be really hard to look past those realities and still see love and hope. In conjunction with the reality of national happenings, in recent weeks I have picked up a part-time serving job in a restaurant and have truly been shocked by some of the people that I am now surrounded by. Their hearts seem so full of anger and I have quickly realized the bubble that my world can sometimes be. I’ve found that it is so hard for me to believe that people can treat others with such distaste. Darkness, at times, seems to fill our worlds more heavily than we could ever wish for. To me, my instant reaction to these surroundings is “how can I fix it?” What can we do to make this life a better place to live in? We’re called to be world changers, right?

We could definitely just ignore the issues and the hate. Isn’t it much easier to just remain naive and see the problems too big for us to tackle? We believe that if we just don’t allow it to affect us then we have done our part. But when I read a certain scripture this week I realized, I can’t just ignore it. But I also found relief in seeing that changing it doesn’t always mean I have to do something grand or outside of my allowance for time and effort, like start a non-profit, a bible study, etc. Although these are good things and it would be great for someone to do these things if they felt called, it’s not always for all of us.

In reading Isaiah 60 this week, I saw that I must not ignore the hate and I must move forward mindfully putting effort into what the word of God has called me to do in a place of darkness. I am not just to hide in a corner and not allow it to touch me, I am suppose to step in the midst and…..

“ARISE...SHINE for, your light has come, and the Glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples BUT the Lord rises upon you! And His glory appears over you! Nations will come to your light and Kings to the brightness of your dawn.”

We often read straight through this verse but this time I saw it as a key. I saw it as the key to penetrating darkness. The word of God doesn’t say, go join or start programs and initiatives. Like I previously mentioned, sometimes we are called to go an extra step and when we are it is such a special calling and an honor to have specific direction to serve God in a certain area. But when we find ourselves surrounded in darkness and no specific direction, we still have a responsibility, we still hold a key to penetrate it, we still have the answer to restoring light to the world around us.

So what do I do when I am surrounded by negativity at work? What do we do when the news is so depressing and the reality of the evil in our nation is more tangible than ever?

We SHINE! We may not be able to change the people around us through strategy but we can change them simply by making sure our light is on. We must fill our hearts with the Lord, allowing His glory to be written in our hearts and appear on our faces. Take time before we step out of houses and into the world to be filled with the “everlasting light”, so then, our “sun will never set again.”

Darkness can wear on you and if you don’t take the time to turn on your light you will be wearing the same depression, evil, anger, and negativity you hate. But to continue shining no matter what is surrounding you is to know that you serve a GOOD God, a God that will redeem and save, a God that will restore and comfort the brokenhearted.

You also don't live coward in the corner of fear hoping the darkness doesn't get to you. You, full of the light of Christ, in full faith of His all empowering Love, walk straight into the darkness...fearless!! When we truly believe Christ can change the hearts of the people around us we become unafraid to carry Him wherever we go.

Immersing myself in a different atmosphere of work, around people who do not know the love of Christ, people who talk down to you, make fun of you, slander you and others, and don’t seem to think twice about it….I will not fear. I will not be made uncomfortable by the darkness. I will walk with confidence and I will overflow with love from the inside out.

God’s light will shine through me no matter what environment I am in, I just have to be intentional of making sure I am full and without fear. This world can be scary. In fact, disheartening, is not a word that can even reach the detriment of the evil people are willing to submit to but we have a call and it is doable. So sons and daughters of Christ, fill up, there is nothing to fear and you have nothing to prove! They will know He is savior by your love, and your light will carry His love where nothing else can reach!

A Need To Be Known

Have you ever felt like no one understood you? And if no one understands you, how can anyone truly love you, right? No one seems to see your needs and they even seem clueless to who you are. I may be alone on this one but it was such a battle that I went through a year ago that I wanted to talk about it in today’s post.

When going through a hard time and feeling so desperately lost from who I was, distant from the Lord, and disconnected from the ones I loved. I sat across from a therapist and she asked me one question….What do you need? If you are feeling so “without”, what is it that you think you need?

I thought on it, wondering to myself what would cure this, what would make me feel whole again? And then the words just came out of my mouth…”I need to be known.” I went on to explain how I didn't feel like people were taking the time to talk to me, help me, get to know what was in my heart. No one was speaking life to me or acknowledging my strengths and weaknesses. No one was asking if I was okay. I wanted people to love on me and reach out to me in an awful time. I felt so alone. I also wanted my husband to see where I had voids and to fill them. I wanted someone to see something extraordinary in me and point it out so maybe I’d feel better about myself. I needed to be boosted and supported and I needed to be known.

My depth needed to be touched.

As I was saying all of this outloud (through tears) for the first time and dealing with guilt and shame for even feeling these feelings because I was truly surrounded by so many loving people, she finally spoke some words that would break my heart but change my life for ever. She looked at me and said, “Kira the truth is, no one will probably ever be able to do that for you.” When she said this, I felt like I had been punched right in the gut. I had finally realized what was at the base of my emptiness, and she says that it can’t be filled?! How discouraging! But she was right. Although the people around me could encourage me, I was expecting too much out of them. Yes, I had a void, and for many reasons that I have learned about over time, it was valid. But I was looking for the wrong things to fill it. Not even my husband could know my depth and touch it the way that it was needed. And if he tried because of my constant pressure and verbalization of my needs, I would be left feeling frustrated with the feeling of emptiness and disappointed in him for an expectation that he could have never met. That’s unfair.

But like I said, although maybe no one could fill it, the need was still there and it was real. I had been telling myself to just get over it, that I was fine, but this self talk is not Godly. This isn’t how our Father would talk to us. So what was I left to do if no one could fill my needs and it also wasn’t right to just ignore my pain?

I had to turn to the one who satisfies our every need. I went on to live by Psalm 139….

“You have searched me Lord, and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and lying down and you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord you know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me….Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea your right hand will hold me fast….even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well….How precious are your thoughts of me oh Lord! How vast the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you…..Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”

If you can resonate with the feeling of loneliness or being unnoticed or misunderstood, I want to speak to you for a second…..

You, my beloved brother or sister in Christ, are not alone. I know it feels like it. I know that your identity feels so far fetched from what you believe it should be. Although it is hard to feel it, the truth is, you are a mighty warrior of God’s kingdom. You have purpose and you have a beautiful uniqueness.

Right now others may not see that you’re hurting. They may not see that you’re anointed. They may not see that you aren’t okay and you need life spoken into you. They may not see that you actually don’t have it together.

But it doesn't mean that your emptiness can not be filled because you have a heavenly father who KNOWS YOU! He knows the depth of your heart and soul because he created you. He is with you no matter where you wander. Whether you have wandered into the darkness or your insides are bursting with faith that your surroundings don't agree with, He is with you. He understands your pain and your passions. He want’s to be the strength in your weakness. He wants to put his hand upon you and comfort you. He can fill your needs. The people around you may never truly understand the depth of your soul but your God will. He created it. He loves it. He wants to be a part of it. He is the comfort no one else seems to be able to supply and He is the cheerleader you feel like you’ve never had!

So know, he’s never left your side. He is asking for you to turn your eyes back to him and crawl into his arms. Let him rock you, let him comfort you, let him touch the depths of the beauty that is you. Nothing can separate you from his spirit. No matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done, he is there. You are not alone. The world has no authority to name you or label you or tell you what you can and can’t do. So no matter what they say, know who your creator is. He is the King of all Kings, He is the one that fearfully and wonderfully made you, and still to this day has wonderful thoughts about you.

Are you putting your hope in other things or people to feel whole again? Are you finding yourself left empty and frustrated? I want to tell you today, it will be an endless cycle if you don’t turn now to the one who knows you, turn now to the one who loves you, turn now to the one that has not and never will leave you. He is unafraid of your darkness and he is unintimidated by your light. In His presence you are made whole.

You my friend, are Loved! And you my sweet friend, are going to be okay!

Our God is so good!