If you haven’t read my post about making your comeback you should go back and read it now. There I go in depth on how we can make a comeback in our lives when we feel as if we’ve missed the mark. But today I want to talk about the guilt and the shame that can follow a disappointing season of life even after we decide to make positive changes in our lives. See, the enemy wants to place lies in us when we try to walk fearlessly for God. He wants us to stay stuck. But we know that we can press on to the high call of God at anytime we choose too (philippians 3:14). And when we choose to do this, the enemy feels that loss and he undoubtedly will change his game in order to keep us from moving forward.
Guilt and shame are toxic to living a fearless life for God. They blind us to the identity we have in Christ. They fill our mind with lies and discouragement to move forward and do, say, and act as the Holy Spirit leads us to. Ultimately they tell us we are unworthy. They define us by what we’ve done instead of who we are. And they keep us from impacting those around us.
I want to look at a few stories in the bible to shine light on what God thinks of our wayward seasons. In Matthew,chapter 18, we are given a picture of the wandering sheep. The scripture tells us if 1 out of 99 sheep wander off, God is happier about that one wandering sheep who returns than he is the 99 sheep that never left. God does not want to see a single one of his children perish. It brings joy and honor to His name when, although you have lost sight of purpose, discipline, focus, etc. for a moment, you make a decision to repent, redirect, and return to following Him. Your eyes, ears, and heart may have been draped with a “closed sign” for a while but the moment you flip it to “open” Christ walks right in and is more excited than he was before. Isn’t this so different from how we make ourselves feel about our wayward seasons? We commit to change and choose to walk in newness but we walk into the new season with baggage from the last. We walk into it with hopes to do and be better but we also take with us the identity that we have not gotten right before.
If you keep marching through the book of Matthew you will reach a story in Chapter 20 that helped me to experience freedom from my own shame. My shame was caused by a season where I wasn’t allowing God to move through me. I was that person that looked back and thought I had wasted so much time, so much purpose, and impacted no one when I should have been. I counted myself as “less than” because of it. In these verses it tells a story about a landowner who hired workers at different times of the day to go work in his vineyard. Some started working at 9 in the morning and some started working as late as 5 in the afternoon. When it came to the end of the day and it was time for the workers to receive their wages, the ones that came to work late in the day received the same wages as those who started working in the morning. It didn’t matter when they came to work, it just mattered that they showed up. And in the first verse of this passage the bible states that this story is a comparison to the Kingdom of Heaven!
So in God’s eyes and according to his Kingdom, no matter when we decide to get to work for the Lord His blessing, grace, and love will be the same as someone who may have spent their entire life serving God without stumbling. When I realized this it was so freeing!
Hear me! You did not miss out on your blessing! You still have a purpose! You may have not accessed it in one season but as soon as you show up to work for the Lord your wages will be equal as if you never took time off! WOW! That is not how it works in the world! We pay for our time off! But our gracious heavenly Father says, “Come, your debt has already been paid. My grace and love is still sufficient for you and NOTHING you do can separate you from my love!”
Ya’ll! God loves you! And He is not looking at the season where you left Him he is looking at the fact you are before Him now and He is EXCITED! He is happier about you coming back to Him and desiring to be fearless for Him than he is all those who have never left His side. You’ve made a choice to be in relationship with your Father and allow Him to direct your steps. Shame is reminding you of the “yeah, but you did this.” God is saying, “Yeah but you’re here now.” I read in a book once that the way you know the difference from the enemy's voice and God’s voice is that the enemy’s voice will leave you feeling condemned and God’s voice will leave you feeling affirmed.
Look at how you are talking to yourself and how you are viewing your past. Are you feeling condemned by it? Or are you feeling affirmed that although it happened God promises redemption.
Shake off the past. Christ shed His blood so that you could return to your Father without condemnation at anytime you choose. If you are feeling shame and guilt from your past, you are the one putting it there. God is not holding it against you and you shouldn't either! No matter where you've been, what you've done, what you haven't done, and no matter how small or big...your wage is still the same!!
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