When The Enemy Builds You Up

“Look at what you’ve conquered, you’re so strong, you can do anything.”

Such encouraging words, right?!! I’d actually love for someone to build me up in those words. But the motives of those words can change their assignment. Those words from the Lord are one thing but those words used by the enemy are something so different.

So what do we do when the enemy is the one building us up?

In Matthew 4, Jesus, the King of Kings, was sent to the wilderness for 40 days and nights to be tested. And although the concept of the next sentence could be an entire blog post on it’s own it’s important you know that a season of testing means you are being qualified, approved, and readied for purpose. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, a time where he was being qualified for his purpose, the enemy did not try to tear down his image of the Son of God...he built it up.

It’s obvious that the enemy has come to destroy us but the bible also states that he has schemes. This passage in Matthew gives us a clear look into these schemes. He doesn’t start by telling you you're worthless. Feeling worthless is the RESULT of falling into his tricks. He starts by building us up and planting the toxic seed of pride in our hearts, mind, and soul.

Even back in Proverbs 16:18 it is says that “Pride goes before destruction.”

God has given us identity in him and countless gifts but it is only accessible when we are humbled at the feet of Christ. The moment that we believe we can attain these things without dependency on God is the moment we begin to fall. Apart from Christ we can do nothing (John 15:5).

The enemy knows if he’s going to tear us down, God’s mighty sons and daughters (yes, you’re mighty!), he is going to have to build our pride first. Once our pride is built up and we no longer find ourselves leaning on Christ we will undoubtedly find out that we can not do it without him. We fail, we become bitter, we find ourselves treating others poorly, treating ourselves poorly, and we quickly don’t look and feel like those mighty sons and daughters anymore.

Does it mean that we can never be proud of ourselves or pat ourselves on the back for a job well done or be encouraged? No, but it does mean that we can’t ever do this without it being paralleled with acknowledgement of God’s part in our success. All glory for him and every good and perfect gift is from him. He is why we have what we have and have overcome what we’ve overcome.

Look at how Jesus responded. He was not tricked into proving to the enemy who “HE” was or what “HE” could do. He knew that there was only one thing that needed to be proven and it was who GOD is. The enemy is trying to trick Jesus into supplying his own needs because “He is the son of God.” But Jesus knew his needs were not defined by the enemy but by the word of God and so he responded, “FOR IT IS WRITTEN: People do not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

If you’ve reached a place of feeling defeated by the enemy then somewhere along the path you fell for his tricks and if that’s the case, that’s okay. Because you can turn it around and make a comeback just like I blogged about last week. But let’s not get to this place again. We have to recognize the tricks of the enemy when they come so we can stand against them. Some things I have learned from this picture of temptation is…

1. Flee from entitlement

The moment you think you deserve something because of the gifts, purpose, position God has given you, you should halt and humble yourself. Recognize that every good thing comes from the Lord and without him you would have nothing.

2. Let God’s word not the world’s culture determine your needs

We all have needs. And whether it be financial, relationship, emotional, etc. don’t let the devil or the culture of this world tell you how to gain these things. Don’t ever move forward with seeking fulfillment in your needs without first aligning it to the word of God. Always remember, God is our provider!

3. Be confident that God said he would supply all our needs

The enemy’s last tactic with Christ was to tempt him with having access to the worldly kingdom. But as daughters and sons of God we are heirs to the Kingdom of God. The riches of the world are not the same as the riches of His Kingdom!

4. Trust God’s word

It is truth and we must guard our hearts of doubt. Renew your mind daily. God does not lie and he will fulfill his promises in His perfect timing

I’ve surely fallen for the enemies tricks. I know for sure that I did after I had my son. He built me up, “You are strong, you can do this, just love God and you can take on motherhood like a champion just like most things you do.” Eventually I found myself believing loving God was enough but you can love someone and not depend on them.

I became self sufficient and I fell hard.

We have to recognize when satan is trying to come in. He wants you to think you can handle it all on your own. He’s going to show you your victories and praise YOU for them. But we know that we need to be praising GOD for them.

So let’s get back on our knees with thanksgiving.

The world may say we’re lacking and the enemy may be showing us ways to can gain worldly riches in hopes to build your pride but hold tight to the truth that you have already inherited the riches of God’s Kingdom and you are to boast in him alone!

It's Time For Your Comeback

Everyone loves a comeback story. The team is down, it looks like the game is over, but then something shifts...the momentum, the mindset, the will to succeed...and the team, once in a place of projected defeat, comes through to do just the opposite….gain VICTORY!

We’ve all been here right? In a place where the only option looks like your ultimate defeat. But let me encourage you today that comebacks are not just for football. Notice the words I used previously...the team is in a place of “projected defeat.” I say it this way because the fact is you are not defeated. You're not defeated because the game’s not over. Christ calls you to victory and he has already defeated our battles on the cross but we don’t always allow ourselves to believe that there is a different outcome for us other than defeat. Therefore we live as if we have already lost the game. We say, well this is just me, this is just how it’s going to be, I can’t change, and we stay feeling defeated.

But our motivation can shift, our mindset can shift, and our will can be ignited so we can start walking toward the victorious life were called to. One yard at a time, one down at a time, one touchdown at a time, until ultimately we have overcome defeat (sorry for all the football terms girls, I’m a football wife lol)

You may be at rock bottom and trust me it wasn’t long ago that I found myself there as well. I was in a place of projected defeat, my hope was lost. And unfortunately, when hope is lost is when depression sets in. I was unhappy with myself, disgusted to be honest, I couldn’t quite pinpoint why yet but I knew I could either fight for change or I could drown….

Take a look at the journal entry I wrote right after I came to terms with my situation...

“It is that serious….I am that far gone...I do breed darkness…I struggle with self-worth….I don't spend quality time with Jesus. I am shameful and disappointed in myself. I have let the enemy take over and I feel as if I am a huge lie. I may be at the lowest point spiritually in my life so far but…I AM COMING BACK!!!

Because although my previous statements are real they are not truth!

Truth is….

God is gracious.

I am beautiful.

I can't do this without the Lord.

He is Redeemer.

I am welcome in his arms.

I can find my joy in him.

I can find my strength in Him.

Life without Him is scary.

Life with Him is abundant.

I am nothing without Him.

My blessings are nothing without him.

My satisfaction comes from the Lord.

I am purposed and called.

I am not too tired to love.

God is love.”

It makes me sad to read those first statements and know I was in a place like that. Those words were really harsh but I didn’t accept them as truth. I think so much of my strength to start recovering was how I responded to the reality of my situation. I could have said …. “I struggle with self worth...so I am unworthy.”

So let me go back to football for a second. The reality is you might be losing the game. You may feel like I did, and still do sometimes, “shameful and disappointed in myself.” The score might be The World:100 You:0. You may have not caught a single ball thrown to you so far, or maybe you’ve missed every tackle and now you're having a moment of honesty with yourself and owning where you are. You can make excuses and identify with your situation saying….”yep, I suck.” or you could say….”this isn’t me and if I don’t change...we’re gonna lose.”

You may be struggling with depression, anxiety, anger, loneliness, dependency, avoidance, unworthiness, bitterness, etc. But don’t identify with it...it is never too late for a come back. Whether you are 12 or 52….God is calling out for you to live the life he intended for you to have. The one he died for, the one that he went to hell for, the one that he rose for. Your past and not even your present has to determine your future. He is saying it’s time for you to take him off the bench and let him into the game with you.

So get back on the field with your head held high. Because you may have dropped every ball in the first couple quarters but you are just a few catches away from victory. Find God’s truth about you and if you don’t know them comment on this post and tell me how you're feeling or what you feel like you can’t overcome and let me help you find God’s encouraging truth. Remember I am not doing this to just tell you about my journey I am telling you all of this so we can journey together. And maybe you are saying “That’s a great message for Christians but I’m not one. So here I am at rock bottom but what’s my answer?” Your answer is no different. Whether you have known Christ for years or you accept him into your life today you are promised the same victory and I encourage you now to to accept him as your Lord and Savior.

Rock bottom is scary. Like I said, I was at a place where I only had two choices...to fight or to drown. I am still fighting to become who I feel called to be but I can assure you....I AM NOT DROWNING and I am so thankful for the ability to make my COME BACK! It's time for you to make yours too!

The Missing Ingredient

Have you ever come to the end of a recipe just to find that your dish seems to be missing a certain something and you can’t quite put your finger on what it needs? It’s surely frustrating when this happens in the kitchen but when it happens in our souls it can be devastating! I have definitely found myself in a place where I knew something was missing. I was getting the recipe of life right but I couldn't shake the painful ache that my life just didn’t feel like I thought it would and then to top it off I felt completely guilty for even feeling this way...because my life was awesome. Great husband, child, job, friends, spent time in God’s word, went to church, served in church. Either I was extremely ungrateful or something was seriously missing…

I think many of us have been here. We feel unwhole when God’s word tells us we will be made complete and it’s frustrating when that doesn't match up. Sometimes we know what we need to do in order to be refreshed and restored but what do we do when everything looks good, everything is right, but there is an aching conviction in our hearts pointing to our life saying “this just isn't it…”?? We feel dead, or in other words flat, and we don’t know how to rise up.

To rise is to move. To be able to move means there is a source of life. And I truly believe when we get to a place where what we are doing seems right but we still feel lost we are missing one very important ingredient, the ingredient that activates the life in us.

When I think about having a life that is rising and full it reminds me of bread (bare with me, I promise I have a point). When bread doesn't rise and lays flat, it too is missing an  ingredient. This ingredient is called leaven. When leaven is added to the other ingredients that make up the bread (dough, water, etc.) it activates life in the mixture so that the bread can rise into it’s most abundant form. The dictionary says that leaven produces an influence of transformation and when the leaven mixes with the other ingredients it’s called fermentation. Fermentation is a place of excitement and movement or the place where things are stirred up! Wow, I wish it was as easy as swallowing some leaven to fix feeling incomplete, dead, or numb because isn’t this exactly what we want when we feel as if we are spiritually deflated. We want to be stirred up, growing, rising to new levels, just simply….feeling alive!

So what would make us feel alive again and cause us to rise?! There are passions in us that need to be sparked again so what is our life source in these desolate times? Let’s look at some scriptures...John 1:4 which states, “For IN HIM WAS LIFE” or Psalm 36:9 which states “For with you is the FOUNTAIN OF LIFE” I think here we can know that there is a greater life source for us. A life source that transforms us, causes us to grow, causes us to rise, and gives us life abundantly. And that life source is none other that our Heavenly Father.

“But Kira, I spend time with God every day.” So did I and I still fell into a season of depression. But the revelation that led to my turnaround was that I was not letting God be active in my life, I wasn’t spending enough time in real relationship with him, or in other words communication with him. I can say that Sally is my friend but if I never talk to her or let her talk to me...is she truly my friend? So I can say that I am being dependent on and moved by God but if I am not in communication with him am I really letting him activate life in me?

We have to be careful because, let’s be honest, everyone loves a good tortilla! And flat bread can still taste good and getting all the other ingredients in our life right can still feel good. But a good tortilla won’t sustain you or fill you up! We have to wake up to the reality that we have to open our mouths and cry out to God. And I mean that when I say open our mouths. It took me praying out loud, praising him, repenting to him, listening to him, opening my heart up so that he can do a work inside of me to find freedom in joy again. Our relationship with him has to be real and when you mix the real God, the leaven, with your other disciplines and good deeds we cause fermentation in our spirit and soul. This is when we experience transformation. This is when we experience an abundant life.

It’s a devastating place to find yourself in a state like this, no one wants to feel incomplete, but hold tight to God’s promise of abundant life because although the emptiness is what feels real and tangible right now, God’s truth is true reality. Look at HOW you are spending your time with him. Make sure you are leaning on him, TALKING to him, and allowing him room to transform you. He’s ready to bring fermentation to all the good in your life, ready to stir you up and cause you to rise but you  have to let him in the mixture!

If you still feel stuck after reading this post don’t be afraid to comment or message me. I’d be happy to give you some ideas on practices and disciplines that can open the door to accessing a real relationship with God. He loves you the same and freedom is in your reach!

Come Walk With Me

I am sure most of my readers at this point in my blogging life know who I am.

But in case you don’t, I’m Kira Cardwell.

I’d describe myself as an imperfect woman with a big enough desire to follow God that I sometimes seem a little crazy, but I’m okay with that :)  He has so graciously entrusted me with being a wife to the most amazing man and not just a wife but a coach’s wife. I’m a mother to the most precious boy, Kai Isaiah, and a true lover and supporter of my family and friends.

I am stepping out in faith and fear as I start blogging again. In the past I have blogged here and there, said I’d start again and be consistent only to eventually fall back out of the blogging routine. But a lot has happened in my life over the last year. So much that I know now that I am just not here to write endearing stories of the happenings of my life but I am here to touch the world with the happenings of my heart.

In the last year and a half I have been the prime example of 2 Corinthians 4:8-9.

I have been hard pressed on every side...but not crushed.

Completely perplexed….but escaping despair

Persecuted….but not abandoned

Struck down….but not destroyed

At times I found myself face to face with the enemy and at other times I felt as if I was walking hand in hand with the Lord. I have learned spiritual warfare and I have learned to fight. So now here I am, after being in months of recovery from the darkest season of my life I am ready to take the way my heart has been touched and put it into words. I believe I am not alone. I believe that I am not the only woman in the world that’s been through a difficult time. I believe that we are all in need of encouragement, truth, and a real picture of life.

I have been so convicted of the way that social media can play with our minds about the life of another person. If you knew half the battles I have had to fight emotionally, physically, and spiritually you wouldn’t look at my pictures on instagram and wish you were me. Sure, what you you see is true, I do love my husband and have most precious son! I do fun things and enjoy my life but it doesn’t mean it is easy. So I am here to paint a clearer picture.

A picture of a woman who is an overcomer! A woman who has made mistakes. A woman who has to work hard to feel free, loved, and peace. A woman who finds her joy in the Lord. A woman who has been a neglectful mother and wife at times but a woman who would do anything in the world for her family. A woman who is weak. A woman who finds her strength in her God. A woman who struggles and a woman who surely will never stop fighting. A woman who practices sacrifice to experience holiness. A woman whose heart is pure and cares for other men and woman, knowing, that we all have things pressing in our lives but we all have a strong desire to rise above them.

I believe this blog will be completely different than it has been in the past. The purpose has changed but the message has not. I am still on my journey to fearlessness. I desire to be led by God’s spirit and to move where he calls me , to speak what he tells me, and to be all that he has purposed me for. And I am determined to break the chains to every stronghold that holds me back from living a life unafraid.

And if you chose to follow this blog, I promise to pull you along on this journey with me. I may mess up a lot, I may have fallen into a dead season, I may have missed the mark more than I can count but I will say I have never stopped fighting for a fearless life for God.

My hope is we will laugh together, cry together, be real together, be humbled together, but at the same time grow together.

I have found restoration, strength, and power and I can’t wait to share with you my revelations, my stories, the things that have helped me and the things that still try to beat me.

Hear me when I say my life is a blessing but as you know just because it is blessed doesn’t mean it’s easy and I think most of us can relate to that. So let’s take this walk together..the enemy will surely keep trying to take us out on our way because we all have a greater purpose that he never wants to see us reach. But together we can keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep renewing our hearts and mind to hear and move into the abundant life God has called us into.

One More week!