Are your husband’s dreams your blessing or your burden?

I am only 25 years old, been married for over 2 and a half years, and about to embrace motherhood for the first time in just a few weeks….I know I have a lifetime of learning left a head of me and I am far from an expert as a wife or mother. But I am confident in who the Lord is and how he has promised to continue to transform me, teach me, mold me, prune me, and make me more like him for as long as I chose to pursue him.

Recently I received a word from the Lord even when I wasn’t looking for it. Sometimes those are the best revelations but sometimes they are also the ones that can break you the most. I have been preparing constantly to become a mother that my focus on how to be a great wife hasn’t been in my forefront. I by no means have been a bad wife but it just hasn’t been where my focus has been living.

What I know about men and what I know about my man is the importance of their purpose. Men live life striving for their ambitions and living up to the expectations they have for themselves as a man. When a man is not living in motion toward and for their passions is when depression sets in and joy can be lost. One of the things I love most about Nic is his passion. I am sure that 90% of people that have known Nic over the last 10 years will describe him by his passion. He has gone after everything he has ever wanted with a full heart and believing that the impossible can happen.

So how do I support my passionate husband in his dreams? Because God knows he has them and God knows he is meant to achieve them and has the drive and disciplines to do so.

As you know I am a Coach’s wife. I have written a blog on it in the past. I love being a supporter and I am glad that I married a man that I can support because the Lord has given me the passion to do so. Every January the coach carousel begins and you never know what the future will bring. Will we get to stay, will we have to go, is it the year to advance, etc.? Coaching is year to year and as a wife that can be stressful.

But in the last couple weeks the Lord spoken something so clear to my heart. He said “Kira, are your husband’s dreams your burden or your blessing?” I wasn’t expecting to hear this challenging question in my spirit but I am so thankful for it. At first I thought to myself…of course.. my blessing!! But then I really started to think about it…

When I think about Nic moving toward his dreams of advancing in coaching and leadership what am I really feeling deep in my conscious and soul. As wives do we almost dread seeing our husband’s dreams come true because it would be inconvenient for us? Will it cost us money? Would we have to move? Leave our friends and family? Leave a house we own and love? Leave a community we trust and are comfortable with? Will the comfortability of our life to some how be compromised? Will we have to uproot our children?

OR in the depth of our soul when our spouse talks about his dreams do we think…Gosh I’d give anything to see him succeed! It would be my greatest blessing, even if we have to sacrifice, to see him advance in the gifts and purpose the Lord has set in his heart.

I think if most wives truly ask themselves this powerful question they will see that the enemy has snuck in in some areas and made their husband’s dreams their burden. I know I recognized it in my own situation. I also realized as soon as we allow the enemy to let us dread our spouse’s purpose we give ourselves to him as a tool to hold them back. We don’t mean to but we will begin to manipulate to continue to have our comfortablility. This is because if we married the right man we married an unselfish man. One who is not going to make decisions for the family based on just himself and is going to make decisions through prayer and direction from the Lord. If we are making comments that are against them moving forward in their dreams like…”yeah but it will be hard to move” or “yeah but we have family here” he won’t take the risks with faith in the Lord to provide because he won’t feel like the family is ready for it and won’t feel like you are with him. Like I said…we don’t mean to manipulate but because of the eyes we are seeing his dreams through (a burden) the enemy takes advantage of it.

So let’s change our view. I know I am…I have found so much freedom in searching my heart and finding the ways I have seen Nic’s dreams as a burden and changing it. Of course there are real concerns and discussions to be had when taking steps toward advancing in our purpose but I feel like I am now free to have these conversations through the eyes of the Lord and without unhealthy attachments to things in my life.

I trust my husband and I truly do want to see his dreams come true. I hope this blesses another wife somewhere out there and that you can find the freedom in trusting the Lord with the passion’s he has put in your spouse’s life.

I’m forever thankful for the Lord and the gracious way he speaks to our hearts.