Dreaming to Be

I hope you all had the best Thanksgiving and are now in full Christmas cheer as our next big holiday approaches! I just love this time of year! My Christmas dishes are out, decorations are up, and although I’ll be ready for the Christmas clutter to be gone by our next post, I alway love soaking it up for the time its out.

Last month I began talking to you about how I’ve taken the initial steps to becoming a certified life coach in order to pursue my passion to see others reach their potential and provide a life in which I can support my family with the time I dream to have for them. Reaching the decision to move forward in life coach training was a hard one. I knew the dream was there and I could see all the possibilities that it could bring me and my family but believing the time was right and that I was right was keeping me in a position of toil.

For weeks I went back in forth. I would bring it up to my husband then I would back off of it for days due to my own fear. I would get excited about moving forward and then moments later I would be covered in anxiety over it. It was going to take faith and it was going to cause discomfort to make the change to breath life into my dream. To me, the weight of this dream felt so heavy and the questions swarmed around me like a whirlwind. Maybe some of you are facing the same position of toil, knowing there is more for you but being circled constantly by questions like…

Is it the right time?

Do I have the money?

Can I follow through?

Am I hearing God right?

Is this really what I am suppose to do?

Will I fail?

Am I strong enough?

Do I have what it takes?

Will I self-destruct?

I especially toiled with that last question. No one wants to admit that they may self-destruct. But like I have said in posts before I like to believe that I am not alone in some of the struggles I have and self destruction is one of them. I will back out before I have the chance to get hurt by my situation or I will fear failure so much that I inevitably end up self-sabotaging my success out of fear, using excuses, giving up, and not pushing through the discomfort of overcoming strongholds. I seriously have been so bad at this in the past. But (praise God!) it's an area I have worked on tremendously and I like to believe I have overcome. But when faced with a serious decision I caught myself wondering if I was ready? Would I go back to old habits? Was I strong enough to move forward? Is all the healing I have received over the last couple years real or am I just a ticking time bomb?

I was in no way secure in myself nor was I separated from doubt. But what else could I do to change? I felt lost and stuck on which way to go and this struggle was greater than I wanted to admit.

Thankfully in the midst of my overwhelming stint of doubt my church was hosting a Women’s Conference and the theme was DREAM. So I perked up and began believing that God would show me if now is the right time to start walking toward this dream of Life Coaching and if I was ready or not to handle any changes this decision would bring me without self-destructing. But God (as He normally does right?!?) had a different message to send to me through this timely conference. He revealed to me something I wasn't expecting but it was something that will change my life forever.

Through His revelation, unexpectedly, I was shown that in order to find security in chasing what was in my heart and be relieved from what seemed to be so much weight, I needed to change my dream. I began to realize my dream to become a Life Coach was attached to my identity. Without knowing it I believed that achieving the "person I was called to BE” was directly linked with achieving “what I was feeling called to DO.” God’s goal for us has never been to “have this”, “be this type of professional”, “be a mom”, etc. Instead, those things are our purposed assignments and are vehicles for our God to use us for His plans.

But consider this...God’s ultimate goal for us is not what we do but simply that we be like Him. Our identity is found in Him alone. We were created in the image of God. Though we have fallen to sin and short of the glory, by Christ’s blood we are given the grace and mercy to be made new every day. Cleansed by the blood of Christ we are called to be transformed back to the original masterpiece the Lord designed.

This is the goal. This is the ultimate dream. Christlikeness is the aim that we must press toward.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God's heavenly calling in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:15

This is where the prize is. The prize of our calling is not in achieving the destiny of our “doing” but the destiny of our “being”. It was here, as this deep truth penetrated my heart, that I separated becoming a Certified Life Coach from becoming who God called me to be. Because, the truth is, I may fail at Life Coaching a time or two, but if I do, it will not and can not shake who I am created to be in Christ. Life coaching is the assignment God has placed in my heart to do but becoming a woman who exudes the character and power of Christ is my ultimate goal. God is more focused on who I am than what I do. He doesn't need me, He delights in me. With this knowledge the stress of wondering if I had what it took to take on Life Coach training left me. It felt as if the weight had leveled and my priorities were finally in order. The only thing I truly needed to focus on was that I keep digging into God’s word and keep surrendering myself to His pottering hand every day. He would equip me for all the desires He had placed in my heart and He would supply the needs it would take to achieve them.

Do you feel the weight of your “destiny”?

If so, what is the aim of your “destiny”? Is it what you long to do or is it who you long to be?
Try separating who you want to be from what you want to do or have? If you never get what you want or never become the professional you long to become can you still BE who you were created to be? The answer should be yes.

It is too often we spend our time dreaming about what we should do or what we want to have but I encourage you to fix the goal of your finish line on Christ-likeness. As you mold into WHO you were created to be you can take on your assignments with a confidence that is made strictly of the Lord. You are His heir and His DNA is streaming within you, but you must tap into it. When we made the commitment to ask Jesus into our lives we invited His spirit to come alive in us but our souls, the very essence of who we are, is still in need of transformation. This is His desire for all of us.

Kind. Loving. Peaceful. Powerful. Serving. Compassionate. Healed. Faithful. Focused. Unchained. Prayerful. Obedient. Patient. Unwavering. Forgiving. Trusting.

And the list could go on! I have a lot of work in these areas but God’s word says that “The Holy Spirit will produce these things in our lives.” (Galatians 5:22) So I don’t have to worry if I have what it takes to become more and more like Christ. I just have to keep showing up in His presence and allow Him to mold me. It is His promise and it is His delight.

Becoming a Dream Releaser

Today I want to blog a life update not just to “show and tell” but in hopes to inspire! I have recently taken a leap of faith in moving forward with a dream of mine. This has not been an easy decision and has taken so much strength and fearlessness to be brave enough to move forward! But on the other side of the decision I am nothing short of completely excited!

Years and years ago the Lord put the growth of other people in my heart. Even as a teenage girl I led a middle school bible study simply because I wanted to ensure that those girls could experience growth in the Lord and be touched by His love. I have exercised my heart’s desire to see others grow in so many ways. Many of which, to me, could be counted as failed attempts. This feeling of failure has at times caused me to lose faith in myself to carry out this hope for others. But thanks to God, although I doubted this God-given desire in my heart, the desire never doubted me.

Shortly after my son was born, a couple of years ago, my husband and I were walking with the stroller and began talking about where we were in life and where we would like to go. We talked mostly about Nic and how his career could be used for the Lord. Then we began to talk about how his career would and could actually be used by both of us to reach others on the deeper level that we desired. We started to envision ourselves “life coaching” others. Empowering, strengthening, encouraging, guiding, & leading other people to grow personally, spiritually, and professionally if they so desired.

This conversation was one in which gives hope and enlivens the soul and we needed it at that time in our lives but the truth was we were far from being in a place where this could be a reality on the level God intended. It wasn’t shortly after this conversation, where vision was released & identity was touched, that my world fell apart. (It’s clear now that the enemy didn’t like that we had acknowledged a glimpse of our purpose) My mental and emotional health was struggling and I had come face to face with the realization that I was so far far far away from who God intended me to be. Since then I have been on an upward climb, sometimes very steep and tiring, to lay myself down, overcome strongholds, and ultimately walk into my authentic self. The self that God called me to be not the self that has been shaped by my past, my pain, my lies, my doubts, and experiences. I began to fight to become the person that was created and purposed to be.  As I have come through these tough season and am still continuing to shake off the dust from them, that vision of coaching other people into their true identity and dreams was reignited so strongly in me.

I pushed the thoughts aside knowing we didn't have the money for training and certification and that I barely had the time. But I couldn’t shake it. The Lord kept showing me examples of people, especially women, that were taking risks in their careers. Whether purpose, time, or money motivated them they were nevertheless brave enough to MOVE. As I began to become inspired by all these women a wonder stirred in me if I should make some of the same leaps that they were making, like sell Mary Kay or another product in order to bring more money or time to my life. Who wouldn’t love more money and time right?! Especially when it could pave the way to dissolve my excuses for not becoming certified in life coaching. But then the Lord took me by the shoulders and what felt like looked me straight in the eyes and said “Kira why not you? Why not YOUR dreams? And why not now?” I was pushing aside what He put it in me and entertaining the idea of other fillers. I didn’t need a filler though, I had God. He had given me direction. I’ve never had a life coach, I’ve never even known one personally, I’ve had no example but I had a heart and a dream that He placed in me. And all these people around me were brave enough to take risks but I wasn’t even faithful enough to take a leap into what was birthed in me by the Lord. So I brought it to Nic and we prayed. I began to look into the program so we could have the details about what exactly we needed to believe the Lord for and what it would take to really make this a reality. The next round of training was starting almost immediately and with my husband’s support, we decided...this was for me, the time was now, and God would have to provide. So in complete faith I signed up to begin my training to become a life coach through a program called Dream Releasers by leadership expert Dr. Sam Chand.

So why am I telling you all this?! Not to boast about myself and my decision but to encourage you to keep bringing your focus back to your true identity and your true purpose.

Whether you know what your purpose is or not, you have one.

Whether you have screwed up tremendously in life or not, you are still called.

Whether you’ve already tried to live it and failed, God’s mind hasn’t changed about you.

Whether you believe it or not, you are fit for YOUR purpose.

But it starts with becoming not doing. When you begin to become the person you dream to be you will also begin to see the assignment you have been called to do. I believe with my whole heart that within each of you is an immense beauty, a unique design, and a true gift that reflects the nature of God.

We too often find ourselves tip toeing around our dreams, filling our time, using our money, and giving our energy to things that don’t align to our purpose because of fear, excuses, and doubt. Hoping that when the time is right our dreams will just fall in our laps without struggle. But anything that has value takes work, dedication, and diligence (aka struggle) to create. And so it is the same with our purpose.

So why not you? Why not your dreams? And why not now?

I had to fight for my destiny and my identity the hard way so that I could truly know how to bring others through their obstacles. Aiding them in strength to arrive at their specific dreams and true identity. I didn’t go through struggle so that I would be disqualified for my purpose, I went through struggle so I would be qualified for it. For this is my heart in life coaching, to sit across from anyone in the world and to coach them into believing in who God has created them to be and moving them through the obstacles that are keeping them from where they desire to be. Healed, whole, and abundant.

Let my story be an encouragement to stomp out all your excuses from stepping forward. The week that I had to make my first payment to Dream Releasers (remember I said we didn't necessarily have the extra money to fund this) we received two unexpected checks & God supplied to us the exact amount we needed to fit the bill. You may have heard of God’s provision before or maybe this is your first example but I want to shout this out because it is real. He is good and when you walk in His will He will provide for it. I don’t know how the rest of the money will come, I have no clue who He will use, what He will use, what promotions are coming, what unexpected gifts or bonuses are coming, or all out miracles. But I am choosing to trust Him. And this word is also for you, if you will choose to walk in His direction He will surely pave the way!

This is the next step of my journey and I am on cloud nine to be actually now be walking in it!! But these first steps didn’t come without sacrifice, faith, obedience, and patience. And the chances are that your journey’s next steps will require the same. I want to continue blogging for a couple months about pursuing our dreams! I hope you will stay tuned for more!

Kissing My Self-Image Goodbye

Over the last year I have seen the change take place in my life from frantic moving and doing to more focused and relaxed rhythms of motion, but it has surely been a process. Especially after becoming a mom, I could have easily been described more as a PIN-BALL, forcefully shot from the trigger into the machine. Daily I was bouncing against the walls of my tasks, to-do lists, pleasing lists, and success lists. Eventually I could see that this way of life was hurting me and everyone around me. There was no room for spontaneity, no room for play, no room for romance, no room for interruptions. I was on a mission. My mission was to do good but it was a mission that left me absent hearted and minded of the beautiful world around me. I was living out of a state of “must do” despite all else. So it took time but I eventually learned how to start relaxing but over even more time I realized that my learned behavior of relaxing was still not calming the pinball I felt within me. My outer motions were calming down but I knew I still wasn’t completely free from frantic living because for some reason my inward being was still left feeling distraught and uncomplete. As I was beginning to break the standards I had set for myself to be “successful” (which was a driving force behind all my “doing”) those rules and standards in return began to haunt me. It may have looked like I was changing into that more present, spontaneous, loving, playful, romantic woman, but deep down I knew I really wasn't. The more I separated myself from the frantic doing and my unpresent composure, the more I came face to face with….ME. I was no longer too busy and I was now dreadfully eye to eye with the thoughts and fears I had about myself. In this vulnerable position I could see, by my frantic, robotic, “must-do” way of living there was an uneasiness that I was desperately trying to overcome and there was a reality that deep down I felt worthless.

But my initial response to the need to cover up my uneasiness was not surrender but stubbornness. I think subconsciously I've know since I was young that I couldn't accept this thought of worthlessness. So I've been fighting, by all my “doing” to prove I wasn’t. I would latently fight back with myself saying…”you think I am worthless, well watch this....'I will have the perfect meals fixed for my family, I will spend time with God, I will exercise and be the perfect size, eating the perfect proportion of protein, fat, and carbs in the day, I’ll volunteer at my church, I’ll plan celebrations for my friends, and I’ll even throw in completing a half-marathon while my son is one and my husband lives in another state.' IN YOUR FACE, worthlessness!!!” (sounds a little ridiculous, huh?!)

You see, without really knowing it, I was building up my self-image in an attempt to fight against feeling unworthy. I worked hard everyday to make strides toward achieving who I believed I needed to be and look like in order to be loved and accepted by God, myself, and everyone around me. For reasons I won’t get into now, I believed that I wasn’t as good as everyone else, that I often missed the mark, especially in the areas of living for God. To some of you that know me, you may be thinking that that is crazy talk. In your perspective you’ve seen that I have always lived for the Lord and inspired others to live for Him. But let me tell you this, since childhood, I know now, I have been unconsciously intentionally WORKING REALLY HARD so that you would think that. So you would approve of me. So you would call me a follower of Christ. So I could feel confident that Christ loves me just as much as the next person. I was always trying to prove that I was enough and most of the time I reached my achievements. But then, in the last few years, there came a time where I didn’t meet up to my standards. My self-image was broken down, and I was left with the “truth” I believed that I was unworthy. My self-image was no longer working for me and I was terrified with the person I was left with.  Therefore I built more structures, more guidelines to abide by, more rules for myself, more checklists to the perfect self-image, and I became so focused on those things that I became that frantic doer. It worked for awhile until that conviction set in and I knew I had to let it go. I was missing out on those cherish-able things in life that really mattered and I knew I needed to slow down.  

So I did but then there I was, once again, facing the very thing I had become frantic to overcome, my “unworthiness”. My actions had changed but I was left unrested because my beliefs did not. I felt trapped between two ways of living: beating unworthiness with spending all my time on things that built my self-made despite the needs of the present world around me or letting go of the unpresent, pin-ball lifestyle and living with the unworthiness.

And then this summer I read something that changed my life. I was reading the book, “Transforming the Inner-Man” By John and Paula Sanford.

I’ve had to learn the hard way that the more “perfect” strive to be the further from it I actually am. In the book the Sanford’s put an end to my battle of self-image, my need to prove WHO I AM in order to be worthy of love, by these simple words….

“A self-image necessarily sets us into self-centered striving---to live up to it and to make sure others see and reward it; we must defend it, build it, and rebuild it, and so on. But a Christian’s identity is a gift, something God builds in us, not having to be seen, rewarded, or defended.True healing comes, then, not by making a broken thing good enough to work, but by delivering us from the power of that broken thing so that it can no longer rule us and be teaching us to trust His righteousness to shine in and through that very thing. Those who heal by restoring the self-image cause people to trust in something repaired in the flesh, merely reshaping their old carnal practices, which sooner or later dooms them to failure, whereas the Lord heals by leaving the broken part right there in place, overcoming it by His nature.”

After reading this I saw that what I thought were my only two options were, in fact, not. I did have another option. It WAS POSSIBLE for me to live relaxed, rested, present, AND worthy. The very thing I was trying to build up was the same thing that God was asking me to lay down. My Self Image! To him none of “my doing” mattered. To him, I was already worthy. To Him, my failures or shortcomings didn’t define my worth. To Him, I didn’t have to do a single thing to receive healing. To Him, I was already healed. But to me, I felt like I had to prove it. To me, I didn’t trust that who I was was enough. To me, I had to build up myself in order to be loved and healed.

Boy did I get this wrong! I was surely set into self-centered striving, to make sure I was recognized as worthy. When all along, my God, has put his stamp of approval on me before I was even formed in my mother’s womb. I began to see that I was whole no matter my schedule, my to-do lists, my achievements, or super-woman cape. The pin-ball was a result of brokenness and desperation, not strength. But the me now can move in the rhythm of grace because my identity is a gift, given to me, and built up in me by God. I have nothing to prove and when I began to lay myself down so I could then pick up a life with Christ, I found my true rest. I'm no longer concerned with what needs to get done or what I can achieve. I am now simply concerned with the desires of God's heart. Even when it's obvious I can be somewhat of a mess, He still calls me perfect to do His will, to love His people, and to shine His light. I move where He leads me now not where my to-do list leads me and I have never been more free! I can wake up every morning believing in the depths within me...that I am loved and I am not perfect, and all of that is okay.

So I’ve decided to kiss my self-image goodbye.

Moving forward with only one aim, to allow God to develop Christ’s-image in me.

The holy spirit does not take who we are and make us better and better, He takes who we are and he gently guides us to laying it ALL down so that we can be made completely new.

Stuck in Refuge...

In the month of July I took some time off of blog posting to seek the Lord and do a little soul searching. As you may know, in March 2015 I felt like I had hit a rock bottom in my life. Since then I have been on a journey to freedom, fearlessness, and healing. Through the journey I have had so many gains and experienced freedom and healing in so many areas. But now here I was after so much gain and so much time, once again, feeling stuck. It was hard to find my joy. Knowing this is not how the Lord wants any of us to feel, I didn't want  to settle but I was struggling to see where I could go from here.

Thankfully, in my time of seeking the Lord for help, I came to an eye opening revelation that I had done the very thing I knew I shouldn’t. I settled. But I had settled in a place I never recognized as a negative, because in fact, it isn’t. And although, it isn't negative, I began to see it was a place that I no longer needed to stay.

I had settled in a season of God’s refuge.

In the bible, God clearly offers himself to us as His refuge and for that I am so thankful. He is a place where we can go to find His protection when we find ourselves in the midst of a disastrous war, whether within us or around us. This escape from our hard times is such a blessing. When I was looking at the history of being a refugee I saw, one was considered a refugee when they had to flee from a place they were dwelling. In most cases, the refugee was caused to flee because staying where they were would lead to imprisonment, persecution, abuse, slavery, etc. Isn’t it ironic, that in hopes to keep us from the fullness that the Lord says we can inherit by His love, these are all things the enemy also tries to accomplish in our lives? I have been here in my own life, feeling enslaved to negative emotions, self doubt and abuse, and needing to run to my Lord in shelter. I am so thankful that God offers himself as refuge to us when we are in the midst of these times.

For me, at the time of my “rock bottom”, I was battling a war within myself. My surrounding looked great and blessed but inside of me I was warring with my identity, my worth, my joy, etc. I was being imprisoned with unGodly shame. But by God’s grace, in the midst of the debris of this war within me, I knew that it was no place for me to dwell. I saw that it was killing me and in turn killing the ones closest to me. So I ran. And I took my promised shelter of refuge in the Lord.

See, that is what refugee’s do, they run, and they hide. The war that they were engulfed in isn’t necessarily conquered, yet, they are simply sheltered from it. We gratefully can take shelter under the wings of the Lord. But sadly when we’re in refuge we are often there in fear. Always wondering when the wars we’re running from, our depression, our sin, our shame, our patterns of failure, will rear its head again. Fear that the threats of the war may catch up with us or fear that our persecutors will find us again. Though there in fear, God is still good, and He still provides His comfort and shelter and it feels good and it feels safe. But isn’t freedom in fear hardly freedom at all?

Other than a life lived in fear, I began to see that staying in a place of refuge, in history, would often come with another huge loss. Refugee’s many times had to take on a false identity to keep themselves safe. Covering their true identity was essential to avoid the turmoil that they once knew from finding them again. And isn’t this is such a far cry from what our CREATOR wants for His masterpieces? He doesn’t want us to dim the lights of our true identity in order to be “free” from our struggles. He wants us to confidently live as the son or daughter He created. And being anything other than this is devastating our spirit. Personally, this is a devastation I had been feeling so strongly. I had overcome so much since March 2015 but was still not feeling completely free.

The word says, “If the Son sets you free, you shall be free INDEED.” So began to realize that the presence of fear still in my life was an indicator that I was not completely free. I had taken the Lord up on being my place of refuge, which was great, but I hadn’t yet let him in with faith to defeat my adversaries....to conquer my war.

       

Colossians 1:13-14 says, “For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” My sweet readers, we are rescued by His refuge but it doesn’t end there. There is a second part. We must allow God to transfer us, by redemption, into His Kingdom, a place where we can fearlessly live in our true identity. Hiding from our war with the evidence of its filth still covering us (shame, pain, fear, anger, doubt, etc.) is a step short of our victory in the journey to our complete freedom.

But by grace and mercy we do not have to stay in a state of filthy slavery to our painful experiences and our poor choices. The lingering filth from our war can be cleansed from our lives. Our adversaries, even if they are ourselves, have no power to determine our identity. Only the creator does. And no matter what we’ve been through, what we’ve done, or the wars God has had to rescue us from, He offers us the promise of redemption if we choose to accept it.

Redemption is a release paid by ransom. It is a deliverance of slavery. It is not a hiding place. And I can see now I’ve felt stuck because I've still been in hiding. Using the Lord as my refuge, perfectly comfy under His wing but still trapped from being delivered into my complete freedom. As I saw this I realized that I still needed to journey through my heart to go back to the slave masters of my own personal wars. The things threatening to enslave, imprison, abuse, and torture me. I had to go back to my shame. I had to go back to my places of pain. I had to look them in the eye and forgive them and ultimately forgive myself and allow God to cleanse me from their false accusations and filth. I had to come out from under His wing, take His hand, and allow Him to walk me back to my war...to conquer it.

This is no easy feat and it has taken me time and I am still journeying through. But I am not alone. By my willingness to give time and trust to the Lord, I am allowing the Lord to touch all the places and the things about me I have tried to hide. And day by day, I am, with His help, conquering my wars little by little. I am going back to my slave masters and allowing my true creator show them that my freedom has been paid in full, by the ransom of Christ’s blood. My pain, wars, and experiences have no rights or hold over me. I am being freed, “transfered”, to move forward in who I truly am. Which is being revealed to me a little more everyday. All I have ever known is a Kira covered in shame, a Kira in hiding. Now I am beginning to see and believe in the Kira God intended. The Kira that is ENOUGH...not by anything I have done but by simply accepting, by faith, His redemption. (WOO HOO!!)

If you’ve taken refuge in the Lord, He is pleased to be that for you but do not stay there. Come out from His wing and grab His hand. Allow Him to lead you back to your war and defeat it! That you may be completely released to redemption!

From a refugee to redeemed we shall receive His Kingdom.

Free to be, fearlessly who God has called us to be.

I'm Going After More!!

I'll Be Back In August!!!

Boundaries That Don't Bind

When I was a little kid I loved to ride my bike around the neighborhood. I grew up in a neighborhood with lots of other kids, street lights, ice cream trucks, lemonade stands, and rows and rows of houses. It was awesome as a child. I remember in the evenings or during the day when I would want to ride my bike but didn’t have anyone to go out in the streets with me my mom and dad would give me “boundaries” This was their word of choice for the landmarks that marked where I could and couldn’t go on my bike. It never bothered me, I never really wanted to break free from my “boundaries” I was just happy to be riding my bike. I would go from the stop sign to the light pole, round and round and round. I was free to do the exact thing I wanted but under my parents protection. They knew where I was even though they weren’t right there with me and at anytime they needed they could step out the front door and check the “boundaries” for my where abouts.

Kids need boundaries, they need protection, and they need security. They are not built to wander on their own where the unimaginable and unpredictable could pop up in their path. It makes great sense and I will most likely use likewise structures in my own home as my kids grow up. But lately, I have been thinking about boundaries as an adult. Boundaries as an adult don’t always seem as freeing do they? Boundaries now make us feel restricted and when we feel restricted, we feel BOUND.

There are certain triggers and situations that seem to bring on some old habits for me. I have written in the past about becoming lost in my mind, robotic, anxious, and simply not present to the world around me because I am so locked up in thinking thoughts that are spinning me in circles about things that don’t really matter, like schedules and routines. I have recognized how unGodly these times are. I am called to live in freedom, I am called to live life abundantly, I have the power to take every thought captive, and I am a blessing to the people around me and my presence to them does matter. Because of this thorn in my flesh I have found ways in my life to put boundaries around those situations that can trigger these moments in my life, ultimately to protect me from falling into these darker places. But as I implemented boundaries I found myself in a wave of battles, some days feeling so free from the distractions in my minds and other days feeling so bound by the fact I have to give myself boundaries to accomplish freedom.

I realized, that these waves of battles were being cycled in my life, because I felt as if my maturity entitled me to a life without boundaries. In my mind, I should just be able to be free from these struggles without help, but everytime I would step outside of them it was only a matter of time because I would slip right back into my danger zone. But then I took a look at the nature of the Lord and the way he has designed himself in relationship with us as a Father. I saw that when it comes to living a life that is glorifying to the Lord, we must stay under our daddy’s protection. No matter how old, mature, or secure I become here on earth when I accepted Christ as my savior I was adopted into God’s Kingdom. I became a child of God. This is a GOOD thing. But just like the little girl riding her back within the safety zone of her parents the Lord will give us boundaries to live a life untormented for the dangers of evil and sin.  We are not left alone here on earth to struggle through, we are here under the wings of the King of all Kings. We have taken His name and gained sonship into his family. What a great place to be!

In Psalm 121:7 the bible says, “The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life.” I want this. I want to be protected by the Lord. I want him to watch over me. And I also want freedom, especially from sinful patterns and mind battles. But let’s look back to my childhood. Just like riding my bike in the street with no supervision, how could my parent’s keep me safe without boundaries? If they didn’t say you can ride your bike but only from the stop sign to the light pole, how could they keep a watch over me and protect me from harm? They gave me freedom to have the desires of my heart but they kept their role as parents to protect me. God does the same for us in adulthood. He gives us the freedom here on earth but to stay under His watch and protection but sometimes it requires boundaries. I have my thorn in the flesh, but what is yours? Is it taking drinking too much when you are out with friends? Is it anger? Is it physical boundaries with your significant others? What are the roads in your life that take you to a place of sin?

The fact is you get to go down these roads if you so wish, and God is big enough to still be by your side in the darkness. But if your desire for a life without giving into bad habits and ungodly patterns then you may have to set some boundaries. Because ultimately, a life without these patterns and battles that you face, THAT IS FREEDOM! And if it takes boundaries to achieve that, then great!

We have to lay down our pride and see ourselves as children of God. Allow your heavenly Father to set boundaries for you to keep you out of sin. We all have something. Yes, that’s right, none of us are perfect. And the Lord is not surprised by “our something” that keeps rearing its ugly head in our lives but he does offer guidance on how to keep us free from it. Sometimes we are blessed enough for full deliverance and sometimes it takes boundaries to keep us in deliverance. And the lie is that if you do need boundaries that you are weak. This was my struggle. I don’t want to have boundaries. I want to be able to be safe without them. But that is not the case, I have weak points, but I love my life 100% times better when I am not dealing with the shame of the moments that I gave into temptation or allowed my mind to be captivated by anxiety. Just like I didn’t mind the boundaries on my bike because it gave me the chance to do what I desired, I will stop fighting against the boundaries in my adult life that keep God’s freedom flowing through me. Where I am weak, He is strong, and this is exactly how it is designed to be.

Embrace your boundaries today! Let go of pride. And know giving up the bars, the late nights, the gossiping environments, or whatever it may be that you need to keep you safe from sin, will in return give you the exact life you are desiring. A life under the wing of the Almighty King!