Are your husband’s dreams your blessing or your burden?

I am only 25 years old, been married for over 2 and a half years, and about to embrace motherhood for the first time in just a few weeks….I know I have a lifetime of learning left a head of me and I am far from an expert as a wife or mother. But I am confident in who the Lord is and how he has promised to continue to transform me, teach me, mold me, prune me, and make me more like him for as long as I chose to pursue him.

Recently I received a word from the Lord even when I wasn’t looking for it. Sometimes those are the best revelations but sometimes they are also the ones that can break you the most. I have been preparing constantly to become a mother that my focus on how to be a great wife hasn’t been in my forefront. I by no means have been a bad wife but it just hasn’t been where my focus has been living.

What I know about men and what I know about my man is the importance of their purpose. Men live life striving for their ambitions and living up to the expectations they have for themselves as a man. When a man is not living in motion toward and for their passions is when depression sets in and joy can be lost. One of the things I love most about Nic is his passion. I am sure that 90% of people that have known Nic over the last 10 years will describe him by his passion. He has gone after everything he has ever wanted with a full heart and believing that the impossible can happen.

So how do I support my passionate husband in his dreams? Because God knows he has them and God knows he is meant to achieve them and has the drive and disciplines to do so.

As you know I am a Coach’s wife. I have written a blog on it in the past. I love being a supporter and I am glad that I married a man that I can support because the Lord has given me the passion to do so. Every January the coach carousel begins and you never know what the future will bring. Will we get to stay, will we have to go, is it the year to advance, etc.? Coaching is year to year and as a wife that can be stressful.

But in the last couple weeks the Lord spoken something so clear to my heart. He said “Kira, are your husband’s dreams your burden or your blessing?” I wasn’t expecting to hear this challenging question in my spirit but I am so thankful for it. At first I thought to myself…of course.. my blessing!! But then I really started to think about it…

When I think about Nic moving toward his dreams of advancing in coaching and leadership what am I really feeling deep in my conscious and soul. As wives do we almost dread seeing our husband’s dreams come true because it would be inconvenient for us? Will it cost us money? Would we have to move? Leave our friends and family? Leave a house we own and love? Leave a community we trust and are comfortable with? Will the comfortability of our life to some how be compromised? Will we have to uproot our children?

OR in the depth of our soul when our spouse talks about his dreams do we think…Gosh I’d give anything to see him succeed! It would be my greatest blessing, even if we have to sacrifice, to see him advance in the gifts and purpose the Lord has set in his heart.

I think if most wives truly ask themselves this powerful question they will see that the enemy has snuck in in some areas and made their husband’s dreams their burden. I know I recognized it in my own situation. I also realized as soon as we allow the enemy to let us dread our spouse’s purpose we give ourselves to him as a tool to hold them back. We don’t mean to but we will begin to manipulate to continue to have our comfortablility. This is because if we married the right man we married an unselfish man. One who is not going to make decisions for the family based on just himself and is going to make decisions through prayer and direction from the Lord. If we are making comments that are against them moving forward in their dreams like…”yeah but it will be hard to move” or “yeah but we have family here” he won’t take the risks with faith in the Lord to provide because he won’t feel like the family is ready for it and won’t feel like you are with him. Like I said…we don’t mean to manipulate but because of the eyes we are seeing his dreams through (a burden) the enemy takes advantage of it.

So let’s change our view. I know I am…I have found so much freedom in searching my heart and finding the ways I have seen Nic’s dreams as a burden and changing it. Of course there are real concerns and discussions to be had when taking steps toward advancing in our purpose but I feel like I am now free to have these conversations through the eyes of the Lord and without unhealthy attachments to things in my life.

I trust my husband and I truly do want to see his dreams come true. I hope this blesses another wife somewhere out there and that you can find the freedom in trusting the Lord with the passion’s he has put in your spouse’s life.

I’m forever thankful for the Lord and the gracious way he speaks to our hearts.

Our Pregnancy in a Nut Shell

Where do I even begin :) I should have been blogging my entire pregnancy but I never quite got in the routine but as I am now sitting at my house while to snow pours down outside and I already know I don’t have to go to work tomorrow so I thought it would be the perfect time to catch everyone up on how waiting on our sweet baby boy has been.

In a nut shell…

How we found out: We found out on June 16th…father’s day (and my dad’s birthday). I had actually taken a test a few days before and it was negative but my “monthly visitor” still never came so I decided I should take another one. Football camps were just getting started and Nic was at work all day long. We also had a coach coming to stay with us that night to work the camps and Nic’s brother was coming up to stay with us to attend one of the camps. I got the house ready for all our guests, sat down to relax, and then couldn’t fight the temptation to take another test. I had one at the house so it was perfect. I took it and this time it surprised me with 2 little lines instead of one. I couldn’t believe it and I wasn’t quite sure what to do next. Nic was gone and extremely busy all day and we had guests coming in AND…was it right? My mind was racing so I immediately went to the store to get more tests haha. While I was there I rummaged through the left over father day cards and just in case I continued to get positive results I wanted to tell Nic in a creative way. I found a card from a dog to a dad and thought it was the perfect one. I got home…took more tests…and kept seeing those 2 little lines. The day seemed to go by as slow as ever from there. I was really hoping that Nic would get home before our guests but that wasn’t the case. Everyone arrived around the same time in the evening and then we spent the rest of the night catching up with everyone…meanwhile I had a HUGE secret weighing on me! Finally Nic decided he was going to go take a shower and get ready for bed. I immediately got up and followed him into the bedroom. I told him before he got in the shower Piper (our dog) had a father’s day gift for him. He kinda looked at me funny but it wasn’t beyond me to do something cheesy like this so he took the card and read it. Inside PIPER told him how much she loved him and how excited she was to share him with the little baby in mommys tummy. I could tell that he read it about 3 times before speaking, wondering if he was reading it correctly. I would say shock was he reaction as well haha.

First Trimester ups and downs: I made it through my first trimester without ever getting sick. It was such a blessing. I had a couple nauseous days but nothing that kept me down or made me ill. The biggest struggle for me was the fatigue and of course the weight of the secret. I wanted to wait till I was 12 weeks to tell anyone and it was most definitely the hardest secret I have ever had to keep!

Boy or Girl: Our gender reveal story is a roller coaster! The first time we went to find out if it was a boy or girl the little babe would not show us. It’s back was to us the entire time! Then we went again and they told us we were having a girl!! We both thought we were having a boy so the thought of a girl was a slight shock but we started getting so excited and even had a name. I had another ultra sound 3 weeks later and I got on the table and she put the little device on my stomach and immediately said…oh look theres your little BOY!! Nic and I just looked at each other and couldn’t say a word…she realized what was going on and said OMG they told you it was a girl didn’t they?! We said yes, laughed it off, and she went on to show us all the little boy parts and how sure she was. It was a hard adjustment. I had to remember that nothing happened to the little girl it was just always my little boy in there. But I am not going to lie it was emotional and it was very hard. But I couldn’t be more excited about my boy! I am thrilled!

Biggest Challenges: Obviously the gender roller coaster was one of the biggest challenges. But I also got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. It is a type of diabetes that you have only for pregnancy. I have to take my blood sugar 4 times a day by pricking my finger and I am on a strict diet. But the great thing is that I can control my sugar levels with diet and I never had to go on insulin. I found out the day before thanksgiving and needless to say I was a wreck. The hardest part has been giving so much thought to all the food I eat but it really ended up not being too bad.

Emotions: I am not sure what Nic would say haha but I really think I have done well with my emotions. There are some days I feel a little off but there were only a couple times early in pregnancy that I lost control and cried for God knows why. One time I ran out of gas and you would have thought my world had ended haha. But for the most part I think I have continued to be my happy self.

Biggest Enjoyments/life savers: I have loved getting everything ready in the nursery, the ultrasounds, and learning about babies with Nic, and most of all feeling my little wiggle worm move all around in my stomach. Feeling him kick and move is the most amazing thing in the world. These are the things that have really made it all feel real. My biggest life saver has been exercising. I have been able to keep an exercise routine up my entire pregnancy and it has given me more energy and all in all helped me feel better. I never thought I could keep up with it like I have but it has been the biggest blessing to me.

Names: No names yet. Our poor boy haha. We have names we like but we are almost positive we will be headed to the hospital without officially knowing what the name is.

So all in all it has been a great pregnancy. Now Nic and I are a little over 4 weeks away from our due date. We are taking our birthing classes, reading up on taking care of little babies, getting the nursery ready, trying to rest (at least I am), and just praying for our sweet babe and for the labor and delivery to go well.

I am nervous but so excited. I just simply can’t wait to meet him, kiss him, and hold him.

I am so in love already…

Hoping to do this more. Until next time :)